Boy do I love the Mountain Dew.

Back in high school, a group of us cool kids would get a hack circle going during our lunch break. While keeping it in play was our initial goal, we soon realized that our superior dexterity and aerodynamic physiques were able to attempt every footbag trick discovered by man. At least that's what we told ourselves. There was only one of us that was any good and we basically let him make us look good. But look good we did and so we had a ritual of hacking three times a day (no lie). When it wasn't a beautifully sunny day, we would try and get a pow-wow going in the hallway right outside our cafeteria. Besides a couple trophy cases, a pay phone, and the fact that it was a throughway and we could seriously injure a passerby, it was the perfect place to set up circle. We would play with our sack until we were blue in the face (inuendo? inyourendo!)



But we growing boys needed sustenence. And luckily for us, there was a Pepsi machine not four feet from our circle, hidden underneath a neighboring stairwell. Lurking in the bowels of our high school kept those cans of soda nice and cold. It was after one such of these exhausting hack sackeries that I bought my first can of Mountain Dew for fifty-five cents. I have been hooked on the stuff ever since! There is nothing tastier than an ice-cold can of Mountain Dew. It hit that spot I needed it to hit. It even hit spots I never knew it could hit. And as I would grow to learn, it hit spots I probably don't want it to.
Mountain Dew is not good for me at all. Not even a little. You should see the poison they put in this stuff. I mean, we men have been giggling over the Yellow #5 urban legend for years. For you women who have no idea, it is rumored to be a colorful spermicide. Sperm-counts aside, there are worse ingredients to consider: Sodium Benzoate for one, High Fructose Corn Syrup (they'll put this in mashed potatoes if they get the chance) and most notoriously, Brominated Vegetable Oil. But you don't have to take my word for it [du dun dun] (that was from Reading Rainbow): http://www.sdreader.com/php/ma_show.php?id=168
Bromine is bad for you kids. Just say no.

But it's sooooo tasty.

Anyway, today was a day when I desperately needed my Gummi-berry Juice. I was drooping something fierce around 10:00. I could not keep my eyes open. I drank two cans of Mountain Dew and I still needed a nap. I skipped my Celeste Cheeseburger Pizza and took a nap in the front seat of my car during my lunch hour. That almost did the trick. Now I was tired and hungry. I had very little office work to accomplish so I was also bored. And to further kick me in the crotch, management had finally blocked both Myspace and this wonderful blog you loyal readers are hating right now. It was a waiting game and I was losing. I took as many "bathroom breaks" as I could muster and eventually I wore the clock out. But what a load of boredom!

Speaking of Gummi Bears:

Mazeltov!

Well, instead of whining more, I'll leave you with this last video. These are the two lead guitarists from the Finish metal band Children of Bodom (who ROCK!!). They will be performing Vivaldi for your listening pleasure: