Guitarists better than myself

As many of you know, I attempt to play the guitar well. That was semi-false modesty since some of you think me quite the technician. However, as I become more engrossed in the world of online video-posting, I find that there are Japanese 8-year olds and trailer-trash meatheads who play better than I could dream to. I should take comfort in the fact that while I have a healthy happy life/career/marriage/etc..., these "prodigies" spend every living second in their bedroom drilling tabs off the net. But being a perfectionist, I find no solace in this. I am merely intimidated by their prowess.
Amusingly enough, these are the only people whom I fear. Not the genius shredders of instructional videos past (Yngwie Malmsteen, Paul Gilbert, etc..) nor the innovators of today (Andy McKee, Satriani, some other guy). They do not intimidate me in the slightest. Moreover, I am encouraged by their talent and find myself studying them as role models. So why can I embrace Mr. Van Halen and not the Pachelbel's Canon kid?

I think the biggest reason is that I tend to think performers as imaginery people. It's true! If they have ever appeared on television or been professionally recorded, they cease to be a human being and more of an icon. Even at a lower level, I am easily distanced from performers. That is why I am so easily star-struck in the presence of bands I like. I got to meet most of Mastodon at one point and froze up like a popsicle (the cream-filled kind...orange). They were high as kites I might add.

Since they are not human, I can treat them as guideposts. "Yay, I've reached the Slash level, I can now use a wah-pedal!" They are more like skills to be attained; a lesson in a book.

But that fat kid who learned all the Dream Theater solos is someone like myself, a no-name student. He just happens to be freakin' awesome!

Take this kid for example: He's a junior in high school and somehow learned all of Eric Johnson's "Cliffs of Dover".



HIGH-fucking-SCHOOL!

I saw that video and quit guitar for two weeks!

Screw these guys too!



The Pachelbel Kid of course...dick.



Same kid as before. HIGH SCHOOL!



Some fat brazilian guy. Holy crap!



Fortunately, there are heroes out there. They are not my peers, they are teachers and idols. I can deal with that.

These are a couple of my favorites:

Mr. John Petrucci. King of alternate picking:



And with LTE, it makes for masturbatory fun! (I do like the solo at 6:16)



Mr. Andy McKee, throwing most classic techniques out the window. He also has a bang-up arangement of Toto's "Africa".



Maestro Ywngwie Malmsteen, proving that shredding is a classical art:



And I'm off to practice guitar. I am also thinking about returning to take lessons. That would help me, I think.

Speaking of instructional videos: